When Zombies Invade

Last night, the movie Dawn of the Dead came on at around midnight, while this movie is far from Oscar worthy it is entertaining and it got me thinking. Basically, in the movie hell gets filled which causes the dead to walk the earth. Pleasant, I know. So anyways, these dead people walk around eating all the living humans and basically causing chaos. Ving Rhames and a cast of misfits all seek protection in this mall. The zombies lack the intelligence to gain entrance to the mall and they have means of support within the mall. They have a roof over their heads, food, clothing, etc. This made me think, if I were to wake up tomorrow and find out that the dead are walking the earth where would I go to avoid the attacks and I landed on one spot. Parkville. Now, hear me out.


The corner of Taylor and Harford would be prime time real estate for a zombie invasion. First, of all you have a gun shop right there that you can loot. I would load my truck up with every kind of firearm and ammunition imaginable. It would be AWESOME. Than I would just simply have to make it another couple hundred feet to the shopping center. Here, I would have to my convenience a grocery store, bowling alley, video game store, hardware store, and liquor store all in one. Just think of the possibilities there. Imagine, I successfully rob the gun store, prepare myself adequately for Armageddon, and safely get to the grocery store roof. I like the chances of this happening cause I have over 10 shotguns in my possesion right now and a pickup truck that I don't mind banging up by making zombies roadkill. Just think about this: in the movie, Ving Rhames plays a game with the owner of the gun store from across the street. The main point of this game is one will find a celebrity in the midst of zombies, and the other guy has to guess the zombie he is thinking of and blow its head off. This is basically their only form of entertainment. Now, if you were hanging out in my place the possibilities would be endless.

We could go bowling any time we wanted too, and trust me, it would be Cosmic bowling 24 hours a day, seven days a week. We could easily set up multiple video game tournaments, and def set up some cookouts. Take the fact that I'd have in my possession an arsenal of firepower, good supply of lighter fluid, and all sorts of stuff from the hardware store and I can't even begin to imagine the diabolical weapons and torture I would unleash on these poor zombies. Throw in the alcohol and it would be like the Fourth of July run on repeat. Simply amazing. Can't you just imagine me playing endless hours of Madden on a roof, sipping on bloody mary's all day, taking a halftime break from Madden to destroy the walking dead, and than going for ten frames of Cosmic bowling. Shit, it almost sounds like a real life never never land.

Several hours ago I went to the Graul's in Ruxton to run a simple errand for my mother. I haven't been there in years and when I got there it truly did amaze me that so many old people can be in one place. They even have old people working there. I think they most post the job fair at a nursing home. It took me like ten minutes to get to where I wanted to go because these people move so slow and stop for no reason at all. The lady in front of me in line was paying for like three things and her total was like $11.37 or some number with odd change and she has the audacity to pull out her little coin purse and count these pennies one by one pushing each one shes counted that much closer to the cashier. Now, the cashier is nearly her age and almost seems enticed by this whole exchange. At this point, I was hoping zombies would invade the grocery store and I could make a run for the corner of Taylor and Harford.