Wheelchair races at 4 in the morning

I just finished watching the movie My Best Friend's Girl with Dane Cook and immediately after the end of the movie, Bennett switches to the deleted scenes feature. This is a feature that I have never completely understood. Seriously, there is a reason it's being called a deleted scene and that's because it wasn't good enough to get into the goddamn movie. Were probably at like the fifth or sixth deleted scene right now and not one of us have cracked a smile. The entire course of the movie though, I was laughing my ass off and now I can't even crack a freakin smile. Hmm maybe that's because during the months and months of editing and producing that goes into making a major motion picture, the guys in charge, watched this scene, and said "Wow this scene really fucking sucks, lets delete the damn thing." However, some asshole decides to throw this feature on the dvd and all the sudden it seems like a good idea to watch this pile of crap.

I was at my buddy Bart's yesterday and I realized that a good way to piss your roommate off is to buy a dog, when he completely resents the idea. Bart's roommate did this very thing. Saturday night, I'm turning the corner at this crowded bar Ropewalk in Federal Hill and Bart hits me on the shoulder from out of nowhere. Now, until that moment I had not seen him in nearly three months and the first words out of his mouth are "Geilf fucking Carroll bought a fucking dog. I mean most my friends aren't dumb, but Carroll is fucking dumb." Shortly after his rant he decided to start talking about the Ravens, ask me if I'm doing alright following the surgery, and just see how things are and other type comments you start a conversation with. So anyways I go over there Sunday and throughout the course of the day, Bart is constantly dropping little lines here and there about his dissapproval of the purchase of the dog. He does however, plan on using the dog as a tool to get laid, maybe, if that happens he will get over the new addition to the household.

Speaking of Bart, a few years ago I shared one of my most memorable drinking nights ever with him and our buddy Perm. The year was 2007 and the Ravens had just lost to the Colts in the divisional playoffs. I ran into him and Perm at Souris somewhere after midnight and the three of us were trying to erase the game from our memories. We decided to go about this by doing rounds and rounds of Irish car bombs. The next thing I know I'm in Bart's car and we are on our way to Atlantic City. About five minutes into the car ride, were turning around and on our way to BWI. We had this genius idea to catch a redeye to somewhere like Vegas or Miami or San Diego. Perm and I were working with limited funds that night and Bart was about ready to max out his credit card. Upon our arrival at the airport, we would find out that the only flights at four in the morning are to Toledo and Charlotte. Charlotte seemed somewhat appealing. Not as appealing though as the wheelchairs. The three of us are now having wheelchair races down an empty airport lobby. I'm really surprised that security didn't stop us at all, but they were probably viewing our races as some sort of entertainment. I can just imagine two security guards making bets on who would win. Needless to say, we decided that it wouldn't be fun to wake up with a hangover in either Toledo or Charlotte and called it a night. Had there of been an available flight to Vegas only God knows the amount of trouble the three of us would have gotten into and calling out of work on Monday morning would have been a story in itself.