Hippies Invade the Light Rail

First and foremost I gotta give it to my main man Perm, who proved to me on a block party in Canton Saturday, that he is a man of many talents. At some point during the evening he decided to do a little improv with the various songs being played and it was actually quite impressive. He even gave my blog a little free advertising, and next thing I know there is a man bigger than Bennett reading my blog on Corey's couch, and men bigger than Bennett do not come a long very often. After the impressive improv session, I found out that he has been coaching high school lacrosse and this came as a great surprise because when it came to sports I always thought Perm stuck to the Terps, Ravens, Orioles, and of course, his personal favorite, hogging.

After getting out of a job interview around 6:30 Friday evening, I had all but settled in and decided to pass up on the Orioles game and try and come up with other alternatives to spend my evening. However, as I was driving past York and Ridgely emotion took over me and my vehicle and the next thing I know I'm passing through a high school tailgate party and walking onto the light rail. As soon as I got close I saw Bill and Grace, not to be confused with Will and Grace from the horrendous 90's sitcom, and was soon on my way to the stadium. On the way down, some hippies from MICA hopped on the light rail, and while it didn't surprise me that hippies are a fan of public transportation, it did surprise me that they were fans of baseball. It also did not surprise me that upon their arrival, seats began to open up because of their distinct smell. I've noticed in life, that hippies tend to stray away from the standards of proper hygiene and therefore develop a smell that is quite repulsive. Andy and Damon used to even play trivia with the name "Hippies Smell" and nothing could be further from the truth.The whole time they were on the light rail, they ranted on about cultural revolutions, being free with their sexuality and style of dress, and the oppression of the government, and other ridiculous things like the need for a more peace loving environment friendly world. During this time, I just sat there with Bill going on and on about their distinct smell and awful dress. For some reason, I think one of them even had a strange attraction to me, as she insisted on sliding closer and closer and was apparently staring me down, but for some reason I do not find females with dreadlocks, and sweat stains attractive, so I managed to keep my distance. Eventually, we arrived at the stadium, and I soon found out that Booboo had failed to get me a ticket, despite claiming earlier that she would. After ignoring my phone calls through the game, I guess she finally felt it was right to call me, or she got enough alcohol in her system, and she had some bullshit excuse about how she wasn't in the ticket line she was just standing by it. Really, who just stands by the ticket line? It isn't that exciting, not that exciting at all. Nevertheless, I ended up overpaying for a ticket, they have this thing down the stadium, where they have the right to up the prices when the Yankees come to town, and it pisses me off,as a Baltimorean, I should not have to see a increase in tickets, just because thousands of collar popping, hair gel using, Yankee fans decide to make the journey down from New York and parts of jersey. So 5 innings into the game, I'm walking in to watch an overweight and overpaid lefty shut down the Orioles for the entire game,To make matters worse, Bill and Grace, decided to have relationship issues as soon as we walked in so, so I in turn had to become friends with the 60 year old man sitting next to me. But at least he provided some decent conversation.

Throughout the course of the game, I was keeping my eye out for Mary but she never popped up and I'm sure she's probably glad that happened. She tends to avoid me in social situations, especially where alcohol is involved, I have no idea why.

I try and take advantage of the fact that I own a pickup truck on a regular basis, to find secondary means of income that Uncle Sam is unaware of, so therefore, I routinely visit the Hunt Valley dump. It is far from the most lovely place, but it gets the job done, and their is an interesting pair of employees that work in the brush and shrub department there. They didn't bother me today, but once in the pastt I had an interesting run in with the duo. This occurred sometime last summer, when Creech and I were taking up residence in my parent's basement, because Smedium had failed to pay the BGE bill, and living in a house with no power in the middle of the summer especially with a roommate like Creech can be quite overwhelming. Nevertheless, the first member of this phenomenal duo, we have named Smeagol, because he resembles that crazy little character from Lord of the Rings who has an obsession with a golden ring, except Hunt Valley's version of Smeagol, is a little Mexican man who has way too much energy, and an obsession for not allowing one to drop things that are not brushes or shrubs in his area. From out of nowhere, Smeagol will come flailing his arms and legs, yelling at those who deposit some form of trash in his area, speaking the old Espanol at a very fast rate and literally confusing the whole out of you. While one is left wondering what the hell this little hyped up Mexican is saying, popping out from the piles of brushes and shrubs, will come The Enforcer. Now, until I had the fine chance to meet The Enforcer, I had no idea they made Mexican's that big. Now, the Enforcer is quite the opposite of his compadre, and just comes out walking slow, scaring the living shit out of you, and making slow gestures that get the point across. Either way, if your ever looking for a good time, dump something that doesn't belong in front of Smeagol, and just wait to see his reaction, and trust me it will be well worth it.

Zach Greinke lost his first game of the season Saturday night, despite allowing only one earned run in eight strong innings. The loss puts him at 6-1 with an E.R.A. of 0.51, with two shutouts and four complete games. He has straight up been a man amongst boys, and this comes just two year's after he had a mental breakdown. Incredible.