"Call Me Muhammad Ali biatch"

Several weeks ago, I headed downtown with Julia to check out Kohler's new place in the Highlandtown area. After a few hours and most likely due to a bit of intoxication, the girl began to dance and as soon as she began to show off her moves an inebriated Tyson was stumbling over to join in on the fun. At this point, Tys was strutting around the house docking some sort of Crackerjack box medal with a bronze tint. Despite the bronze tint, Tyson was claiming this to be his gold medal and with the level of inebriation he had already reached, all had realized that we should just accept this statement as statement of validity or just make fun of Tyson as soon as he stumbled away. Now, I will admit, I have actually watched part of an episode of the reality show "Dancing with the Stars" it wasn't long ago that the Fick parents convinced me to watch Warren Sapp do the tango, or whatever the big man did, but I must say, if Julia and Tyson want to one day reach reality show dancing status, well they got a while to go. Within a matter of seconds there was a loud bang and as I turned my shoulder, I noticed Tyson knocking the girl to the ground. Blood was soon pouring out of his eye and people soon began to overreact. I've noticed that most times there is an excessive amount of blood,people overreact. Hell, nearly a year ago, I was sitting on top of the bathroom counter at Mex laughing away, as Creech told me I should go to the hospital. Nevertheless, despite numerous comments that Tyson needed stitches the man just patched it up, and was soon at the bar. So several weeks later, I'm having a conversation with the man and I notice that above his eye a nice little scar as emerged and I brought up the topic and received what I felt to be a typical Tyson answer. After my comment regarding the scar, Tyson properly stated, "Call Me Muhammad Ali biatch!"

Speaking of Creech, it appears the man has reached a new low, gay porn. To be honest, I really should have seen it coming, I did live with the guy for three months last summer and the signs were everywhere. I will occasionally get a phone call from Corey or Steve or Bobby or any other guy that I enjoy hanging out with asking me if I want to go watch the game somewhere or check out the new Terminator movie, typical guy stuff. However, with Creech it would be do you wanna go watch the Hills? Or let's go check out the new Matthew McConaughey movie, like I said, the sign's are everywhere. So back to the gay porn. Supposedly, last weekend, Smedium made the ill advised mistake of inviting Creech and the rest of Calvert County to his suite in the great Ocean City. Smedium had spent one night already there working for Bacardi and had an obscene amount of free liquor to his name. Within a few hours Creech, Brann, and a few others arrive to the suite and begin pounding shots. With the alcohol starting to flow, Creech is cross dressing and ripping womens clothing off his body. Now with the scenes starting to get a bit sweaty, a naked Smedium and half naked Creech are now frolicking around an Ocean City hotel room and I could go into the rest of the details of the movie, but, well, I'm actually getting out of my chair to vomit right now, and I don't think anyone wants to hear the more intimate details. As it turns out, the Holiday Inn is not a big fan of gay porn, nor are they big fans of their furniture being thrown into their pool, so the Calvert County crew was soon on their way back to the CC. As for Creech, well, he still isn't shitting right.

I sent out a text message last night to the few people that evidently missed me the most while my phone was missing in action and instantly I received a phone call from Julia. The girl sounded like she was near tears and as she began to express her concerns I couldn't help but to crack a smile. The poor girl was hiding behind her comforter, in a state of shock, because a small creature resembling a mouse was hanging out in her bedroom. Being in a state of shock, she couldn't move until she was assured the mouse was out of her room and everything was safe. I even offered my services, but unfortunately the door to her house was locked and I would not be able to get into the house, but in all means, to steal words from the infamous Brian Billick, I was ready to grab my spear and go in like a banshee kicking whatever doors down, but to no avail. Eventually, Julia's step-mother came in though and was the hero and everything was restored to it's finest.

Well, I'm about to head down to the A.O. with the parental units, so I will be away for a while, until Monday, when I will emerge ready to rock out.