Just some Thursday night at the Kent

I was talking to my main man Jason last night, who still has a problem remembering my name for some reason, even though I have met him on numerous occasions, and I was referring to how people never cease to amaze me. Honestly, most of the time, I don't even have to say a word, I could just sit back in my chair, watch people interact with one another, and most likely I will be able to find some sort of amusement. Take last night for instance, I stopped in at the Kent Lounge and I don't really think I said more than ten words to any specific person, but yet somehow, I managed to keep myself amused just by watching people interact with one another.

First, there was Alex and he had his mind set on making friends with a certain lady in a shiny shirt. Now, while there are always numerous girls at the bar with shiny shirts on, he had a specific interest in a blond haired one with a knack for stealing lighters. I think eventually he followed her to BLounge or something. He probably had to make a pit stop on the way though, so he could pick up a bottle of hair gel, a t-shirt that is four sizes to small so his pecs and biceps would look bigger, and a few gold medailions, before entering BLounge because I think that's part of the dress code there or something, I'm not exactly sure, because I usually try and stay away from places like that.

Than, there was Julia and she was even more entertaining than Alex. She was even more intoxicated too, which upon my arrival, seemed hard to do. I kinda have to give it to her though, somehow in her intoxicated state, she managed to come up with a drunken stagger that seemed like a walk, dance, and stupor all rolled into one. She also was obsessed with finding Siobhan and convincing some random girl that she was in love with some dude. I/m hoping she knows who the girl was, because I haven't the slightest clue. Although, if she didn't know who it was, it may make it that much more entertaining. Eventually, I got the job of trying to track down Siobhan, who also seemed to have this same stagger, and she stole my Ravens hat because she was convinced she looked sexier in it than I do, which in my opinion and Stilling's was true.

Even a few members of the dream team made a late appearance as one would know that is certainly entertaining in itself. They said hello to me and I had to walk through the midst of angry, pissed off guys, that were hovering over them, who had probably spent the whole night buying them drinks and now were wondering why I was so special to get all of the attention. Really, it wasn't that hard and I soon bowed out of the competition and let the crowd of hovering guys get back to what they do best.

The other day, I was at work, and my buddy Curlee, kept bothering me to buy him a "fodie" and lend him twenty bucks so he could drunk with his "homies." I kept ignoring him, because the only time I have ever seen the kid drink, was when I brought him to a party at Aaron Payne's. The next thing I know, I'm walking into work the next day, and getting yelled at by both of his aunt's, who I also work with, because Curlee stayed at the party till the wee hours of the morning, got kicked out for hitting on guys, and woke up on a curb somewhere in Towson, only to be taken to the hospital. Somehow, this was my fault, so I stayed away from the offer of lending him 20 bucks to get drunk with his "homies" and buying him a "fodie."

Before, I went out last night, I was playing NBA 2k9 on my playstation, when my Dad comes down the stairs. He has a movie in his hands and says "This one's pretty good, you should check it out." He than proceeds to toss the movie on the couch and walk up the stairs. The movie was Failure to Launch.

Just another Monday night at the Kent

I have already received several text messages today from various bartenders that I come into contact with from time to time, inviting me to come to their bar for Fat Tuesday to celebrate Mardi Gras. I find this interesting, because somehow I'm supposed to be super excited that today is Fat Tuesday and the start of Mardi Gras, when I live in Towson. Now, I'm sure Mardi Gras is probably all it's cracked up to be, but the problem is, Mardi Gras is in New Orleans. Not in Baltimore, not in Towson, not in Kentucky, not in San Francisco, but in New Orleans. It's not Christmas, or the Fourth of July, or even freaking Flag Day. If I show up to some bar tonight with a bunch of beads around my neck, I am in no way shape or form, celebrating Fat Tuesday, I am just some asshole pathetic loser, with beads strapped around my neck, parading around the bar with some desperation attempt to celebrate an event that is occuring thousands of miles away. However, I guess some people feel that they need an "excuse" to go out and drink on a Tuesday night, and being that it is Fat Tuesday, it is good enough for them. If I end up going out, it will probably because I am bored and looking for something to do, not because it's Fat Tuesday.

After work last night, I decided to meet up with Andy and Damon at the Kent. Now, I had not been to the Kent since Super Bowl Sunday, which is probably the longest stint I have gone without stopping by the Kent in six years and yes, I realize that six years ago I was 17. As soon as I got near the door I could tell Paulie was DJ'ing because there was some god awful song playing and no one was in the bar, but that probably is what makes the Kent so awesome. Next thing I know, I'm playing Uno, which is quite typical as well. After a while, Pat came up with some game, where everyone had to list their top 3 favorite movies. Than it became everyone's 4th, 5th, and 6th favorite movie. Eventually, some kid walked in that did a damn good Christopher Walken impersonation. By the end of the night, we were at our 19th, 20th, and 21st favorite movies .Jason was out of options and kept naming cartoons, Mikey was in his own lil world and couldn't really follow the rules of the game, and the Christopher Walken kid was going on and on about movies he had watched on an airplane, while drugged up on Xanex. Needless to say, it was an interesting night and the movie game kind of drowned out the music playing in the background.

Creech was in town this weekend and as soon as he came into Steve's he immediately started to bitch about my blog. I think he's still bitter about the fact that I did not describe him as endlessly entertaining.

Friday night, I went back to Steve's after the bars and at about 4, everyone that was there started to pass out. I grabbed a spot on the couch, and Steve's buddy, whose name I do not remember, was on the other couch. This guy turns on bobsledding. Now, the only time I have ever watched anyone bobsled, is in the movie Cool Runnings. Anyways, as were watching bobsledding this kid is going on and on telling me about the bobsledders that are currently on the television. He is informing me that the U.S. has a real shot at gold in the next winter Olympics in Vancouver, the driver for the Swedish team is one of the best drivers in bobsled history, and that Russia has been a huge disappointment the past few years. I found all this very interesting because I enjoy learning new things, especially when it comes to sports, even a sport such as bobsledding. The next morning, while Steve was bitching about being up so early even though it was almost one, the topic of bobsledding came back up amidst our conversation. Turns out, Steve's buddy hasn't the slightest clue about bobsledding, and was just piss ass drunk and lying his ass off for the hell of it. He was quite amused to hear the stories he was telling me about the Swedish driver and U.S.A. medal quest, because in reality, not one of us knows if the driver for Sweeden is anything special, if the U.S. is decent, or if Jamaica will have another bobsled team.

Rudy, Lil Wayne, and Crash Davis

I was watching this football movie on AMC, the other day, and it got me thinking. Besides Henry Winkler and Sean Astin, is there any actor or actress who is more famous for the character they played in a specific film or television show? Seriously, whenever you see a new film with Al Pacino you don't yell out "Hey, its Scarface!" But, when you watched "The Waterboy" for the first time you probably yelled out "Hey, its Fonzie!" Just like when you watched "Lord of the Rings" you yelled out, "Hey, its Rudy!". You probably did the same thing in "Click", which god forbid had both of them. Either way, I just thought it was funny, because until the ending credits of "Rudy," I had no idea that his name was Sean Astin, I wouldn't be surprised if you didn't either. But, when I watched "Lord of the Rings," I couldn't stop laughing because the whole time all I was thinking is " Wow, Rudy definitely has homosexual tendencies for Frodo."

Speaking of movies, I was watching "Bull Durham" and Kevin Costner as "Crash Davis" desperately saves that movie. Without him, it would just be Tim Robbins looking like a right handed retarded version of Fernando Valenzuela as he points his head up towards the sky and somehow manages to strike batters out, while banging out a complete small town whore in Susan Sarandon, with a fascanition for tormenting her sexual partners with poetry. But thanks to Crash, it's actually a damn good baseball movie.

On Tuesday, I had to stop by the Superfesh to pick up a few things. When it came time to check out, I went towards the self-checkout lane. There was only one customer in front of me with just a small amount of items in their shopping cart, so I figured it would be your typical in and out deal. However, it was far from anything routine. The customer in front of me was an elderly Asian lady and she was having the most difficult time figuring out the self-checkout lane. Now, there were several people in line behind me at time, and one by one they started moving to different lanes. In fact, there was one lady who started just after the elderly Asian lady, with three shopping carts full of 3 liter sodas, generic brand cereals, and Hot pockets, and she finished before the troubled Asian. However, instead of going with the trend of the store, I found this lady to be quite amusing and stayed put. She kept trying to type things onto the screen, scan the items on the wrong side, and do god knows whatever else. The manager of the store, who was surprisingly hot, came over on multiple occasions to assist her and it was to of no avail. Despite all this, I couldn't move, I was fascinated with how much difficulty this lady was having. Unfourtunately, the fun eventually came to an end and she proceeded to checkout. After that, the rest of my day just seemed irrelevant.

If you are one that pays attention to ESPN, you may have noticed that they have recently added rapper Lil Wayne to their staff. He was on "Around the Horn" this week and has started his own blog on their website. I was browsing through his reader's comments on the website, and it seemed like a good majority of the people reading were upset about this. They were leaving comments referring to his lack of experience, his improper use of the English language, claiming he has never played sports on a major level, and a variety of other things to humiliate and bring down the rapper. I found this a shame. First of all, these assholes leaving their comments, were also claiming they were more suited for a job with ESPN. That is a joke, you just had one quick comment to leave your mark, and you made yourself look like an ass. Now, your saying you and your shitty ass life deserve a spot over one of the most popular entertainers in the country. The whole thing just amused me and if you were watching "Around the Horn" this week, Lil Wayne is simply the most amusing person on there. Host Tony Reali, obviously agreed, as he eliminated the panel round after round, even though Wayne was trailing on the scoreboard. His blog was just as amusing, the man knows how to rap, and the man knows sports, well, at least the man knows how to be amusing when it comes to sports. Which makes his blog, readable and enjoyable, to say the least. Anyways, he's definitely better than Tony Kornheiser.

Today, after more than 23 years of life, I suffered my first nose bleed.

Twidling my Thumbs, A Random Ass Bar, and Hot Spanish Girls That Never Existed

If you were to force me to choose two people to go out with some night, with no idea what to expect, and have to come back with an interesting story, I may just choose Bart and Perm. As I've mentioned before I've had wheelchair races at four in the morning with them and have almost woken up hungover in Toledo with these guys. Friday night, proved to be just as interesting. I started off the night by heading down to Amanda and Jesse's place to pregame, before we all went to JD's. It was here that I ran into both Perm and Bart, but before long, I went downstairs to hang out with Ryan and Joe, who Corey had just picked up from Silver Spring. We were camped out by the front door, and around 1:15 A.M., Perm and Bart are headed out the door. Perm invited me to come out with the two of them, Bart was screaming something about how I wasn't allowed to go with them, and I was a little hesitant due to it being so late. However, Perm assured me that I wanted to join them, and I went along for the adventure. Our original destination was Portside, but the next thing I know Bart is knocking on some random red door and telling me and Perm to trust him. All of the sudden, I hear someone saying over an intercom that these guys are cool, and we are being buzzed in to this place. There are several poker tables in the room, a bar, and several old Polish men sitting at this bar. I felt like I was walking into Teddy KGB's place from Rounders. As soon as we get up to the bar, the bartender is telling all his buddies that this guy is "wild", referring to Bart. Perm leans over to me and says " If some guy that works at a place like this is calling you wild, you know your wild." I had to agree with him.

After we left this place, it was a little past two, and we were trying to hail a cab, back to Bart's. Bart was puking in the streets of Canton, and we eventually somehow found a cab, and were on our way. As soon as we get back there, Perm is getting me to do shots of gin, and Corey is calling me saying I need to damage control and convince these six hot Spanish girls to stay outside his house, until he get's there and can let every one inside. After making the short walk from Bart's to Corey's, there are no Spanish girls and it is just Joe, Poly, and Townsend sitting outside. Corey and Ryan arrived shortly thereafter, and before I knew it, there was a late night party at his place. Eventually, I wondered back to Bart's to crash. I'm still convinced that these hot Spanish girls were just a figment of Corey and Townsend's imagination and never really existed.

The next night, Julia told me that Lindsay and her roommate's were having people over than going to Federal Hill, so the two of us met up with Poly and Corey, and were on our way over there. Upon our arrival, I quickly figured out that I knew no one in the house besides Lindsay's two roommate's and her one roommate's boyfriend, and that Lindsay was still at work. Corey and Poly, decided to venture back to Poly's to play video games until it was time to leave. No sooner do they do that, than the whole house basically decides to go to the bar. Now, it is just me, Julia, and Jess. I'm sitting in between the two of them and they start talking about how horrible their ex-bfs are and all this other shit. The two of them are leaning forward, going on and on about relationships, and their ex-boyfriends and I'm just leaning back twidling my thumbs, trying to figure out if it's more entertaining for the right thumb to go over the left thumb or vice versa. I kind of wanted to repeatedly stab myself in the foot just for a change of subject, but eventually Lindsay did show up, and I don't think I've ever been happier to see anyone in my life.


I was out and about today, running some errands, and searching for a job, when I got a phone call from Creech. First and foremost, he starts yelling at me for not being at his most recent "Sunday Funday" when he failed to even give me a call. I guess he feels that I have reached some sort of level of telepathy with him and I should automatically know where he is and be there at all times. This has yet to happen and for some reason I don't believe it ever will. Anyways, he goes onto tell me some crazy story about how he started drinking at Friday's at 2:00 p.m, was awoken by cops for sleeping in a parking garage in Towson, and ended up the night at Calladagh's in Canton wearing girls clothing and pink slippers. At the end of the story he asked me, " Am I endlessly entertaining now?" I think he's secretly jealous and offended that I defined Steve as endlessy entertaining and one day wants to reach that level, I just don't know if he has it in him.

Hanging Ten in the A.O. Broski !

I was entirely convinced that I was staying in for a peaceful night of relaxation and NCAA basketball, when I got a phone call from Booboo. Her and Bobby were having some argument over whether or not this security camera was a floodlight or camera. Bobby was right and Booboo owed him a shot. But anyways, the next thing I know, I'm facebook chatting with Steve and Bobby and Booboo are on their way to pick me up. Steve drank some old ass beer that had been sitting in Booboo's car and we were soon stopping back at their apartment to discuss our mission. It was here that we would create our aliases and develop the plan of attack.

After a few BMor specials, the four of us were on the road. Wetness, Clownness, Darkness, and Sickness set out with a goal in mind. We needed ten signs to add to their apartment or else we would come back dissapointed. Clownness was the getaway driver and may have had a few too many drinks, because Shodie driving next to us could not keep up with our speed, or may have just been scared because Clownness likes to drive in the middle of both lanes, instead of picking just one, like any normal person. I know for a fact that Wetness was totally bummed out by the fact that Clownness had to get all Speed Racer and Jeff Gordon on Shodie, and she was left in the dust. Darkness originally had his mine set on a Ravens-Budweiser sign and that become the ultimate obstacle. Over the course of the night, we avoided the police, had to make a rendevouz to the apartment because the car was filled to capacity, and at one point Sickness was hanging from a sign in a desperation attempt to pull the nails out of the building, that were holding the sign. After a while we went under new management, and all goals were achieved.

During the course of the night, we also decided that it was time to bring back "Hang Ten." The four of us were constantly hanging ten all night and ready to hit the A.O. for some killer waves. I would have to drive over the bridge though, because Steve has some intense fear of the Bay Bridge. The next night at CVP's we were totally bringing "Hang Ten" back to the social scene. This one girl told me their was no way she would throw up the "Hang Ten" sign but by the end of the night, Natalie through me a "Hang Ten." Honestly, I don't blame her for cracking, because, in reality, who doesn't want to "Hang Ten?" I also had this other girl convinced that we were going to the A.O. after the bar to shred, but that really isn't anything special, because I could probably convince her anything.

A List of My 10 Most Memorable Games

As I mentioned in a previous blog, I have wanted to write about my ten most memorable sporting events for awhile now, well today I've finally done it. Now, let me give you some simple guidlines to this list:

1. This is NOT a list of my 10 favorite sport moments. In fact, I will probably cringe when I write about some of these moments.

2. For a game or event to have made this list, I must have watched it live. If I missed it for any reason and had to capture the highlights on Sportscenter or some other media outlet, it was automatically eliminated from the process.

3. This list is not in any particular order.

4. Well there isn't a four, I just had already written down the number and didn't feel like hitting the backspace button, so here it goes.

Superbowl XXXV

Alright, I realize I did say that this is not a list of my favorite sports moments, but I figured we would start with my favorite, plus, it is playoff season in the NFL. I was a sophomore in high school when the dominating defense of the Baltimore Ravens blitzed their way through the AFC playoffs and into Superbowl XXXV. The Ravens dominating defense eliminated three teams as well as three quarterbacks on their march to the Superbowl. After wins against Denver, Tennesse, and Oakland, the Ravens were poised to play the New York Football Giants for all the marbles. By the way, special thanks to a Mr. Del Greco, who knows if I would be writing this without your help.

I remember how pumped the city of Baltimore was for this event. Every gas station had stands selling Ravens sweatshirts, hats, and flags. The city was a blitz in purple passion. Anyways, the first score of the game came when the resilient Trent Dilfer found the speedy Brandon Stokely in the endzone for a 38yard touchdown pass, giving the Ravens a 7-0 lead. This was significant because not only did the Ravens strike first, but they were 15-0 at that point in the season in games in which they had scored 1 touchdown. All four losses came under quarterback Tony Banks, who failed to get the team in the endzone. If you do remember, many sports writers predicted Banks would be the breakout player of the year in 2000, so much for that.

The Ravens would add another 10 points on a Matt Stover field goal and than a Duane Starks interception return. With the game at 17-0, it seemed like it was all but over. However, seconds later Ron Dixon took the kickoff back 97 yards, the score was 17-7 and all of the sudden negative thoughts were beginning to creep in the back of every Ravens fans head. The Giants bench was extatic, the Ravens bench dismal. Just a few seconds later though, the ball landed in the hands of #84 and 84 yards later, Jermaine Lewis had made it 24-7. This is without a doubt my favorite play, I've ever witnessed as Jermaine throw his hands to the heaven. The three touchdowns in 42 seconds or whatever it was is also a Superbowl record and one that probably won't be broken. The Ravens would add on another 10 points on another Stover field goal and a short touchdown run by rookie Jamal Lewis, one that would be heavily disputed by Giants fans. Plain and simple it was a touchdown but even if it wasn't we still intercepted Kerry Collins four times and Ron Dixon turned the ball over with a fumble, so we would have still kicked your ass regardless. Ray Ray was handed the Superbowl MVP, Art Modell cried, and than the Ravens released Dilfer and put Elvis Grbac at qb the following season. Either way that defense was dominating and it was a great game.

Michael Jordan's last game..........as a Bull.





I watched an interview once with Sylvester Stallone, where he was asked about Rocky V. He claimed in his mind that it never happened. I'd imagine Michael Jordan does the same thing when asked about his playing days with the Washington Wizards. Although in Jordan's defense his days with the Wizards brought forth at least two postive things. One being the fact that he donated a good portion of his salary to a charity helping the families of 9/11 victims and the other being that we all got to see Mariah Carey wear a very sexy uniform/dress thingy in Jordan's honor.


Jordan's era with the Bulls was simply jaw-dropping. Despite his numbers and production, the NBA was at its peak. I can remember as a child, my dad would be watching the Bulls and my mother would make me go to sleep saying it was past my bedtime. Now, by the time I was sent off to bed my Dad was usually asleep on the couch, so I would army crawl from my bed and watch the game from the hallway. Anyways onto the game.


It was game 6 of the 1998 NBA Finals, between the Chicago Bulls and the Utah Jazz. The Bulls were looking for a three-peat and to top the Jazz for the second straight year. Besides Jordan, I believed I loved most of the members of that Bulls team. In fact, I may just have to do another entry on their teams alone. They had Scottie Pippen, who was Jordan's right hand man. My main man Dennis Rodman, who was entertaining on and off the court with his insane antics. Toni Kukoc, one of my favorite players of all time. Steve Kerr, deadly from behind the arc, although he may be more deadly as a general manager. I could go on and on.


Game 6 was held at the Delta Center in Utah with the Bulls leading the series 3 games to 2. Early in the game, Pippen hurt his back on a breakaway dunk, which slowed him down and put most of the pressure on Jordan. Jordan responded the way a superstar should by putting up 23 first half points. The second half was a battle, with both teams playing well. Watching the game, you just knew you were viewing a classic. A John Stockton three gave the Jazz an 86-83 lead with under a minute to go and sent the Delta Center into a frenzy. On the next possesion, Jordan scored driving to the rim for a layup and the lead was cut to one. Following, Jordan's layup the Jazz had the ball where they wanted it, in the hands of league Mvp Karl Malone. However, Malone had far from an MVP series as he had trouble with the tough defense of Rodman. The two would also do battle in WWF or maybe it was ECW in future years. With Rodman sticking Malone like glue, it allowed MJ to make the big play. Stripping the ball from Malone, Jordan dribbled up court, crossed over Byron Russel, the Jazz' best defender, and sunk the shot to give them an 87-86 lead with less than 6 seconds remaining. Stockton would attempt a desperation three, but it fell short and the Bulls were once again champs, Jordan was named Finals MVP for the sixth time. Malone never won a championship.

Aaron Fing Boone


The New York Yankees and Boston Red Sox have quite possibly the most intense and historic rivalries in sports. I'm not going to get into that debate but the 2003 A.L.C.S. was just another chapter in their long rivalry.

The series was a classic, the teams swapped victories through the first six games. The Red Sox even had a late comeback in game 6 against a Yankee bullpen in New York. Red Sox nation had reason to believe that this was the year the curse of the Bambino would finally come to an end. There had even been a brawl in the series were Red Sox ace Pedro Martinez would infamously toss Yankee bench coach Don Zimmer to the ground.

It was Pedro versus the Rocket in game 7. Power against power. I was a freshman in college at the time, watching the game in my tiny 10 x 10 room that I shared with my roommate Chuck. Neither Chuck nor I had any affiliation to the game, he was a Phillies fan and I rooted for the Orioles. However, we had two friends over to watch the game that day. My buddy Reno, a diehard Redsox fan who grew up on the same street as Fenway Park, and my buddy Scottie, a Yankees fan. There was plenty of tension.

The Red Sox jumped to the early lead, knocking Clemens out in the fourth. Former Oriole Mike Mussina would come in out of relief, to pitch three scoreless innings. Everything was going great for the Sox. They had a 5-2 lead through seven and their bullpen had been dominant. However, manager Grady Little would make a controversial decision and leave his ace on the mound despite a high pitch count and Mike Timlin and Scott Williamson being ready in the pen. The Yankees would start the inning with a Derek Jeter double and than a single by Bernie Williams cutting the lead to one and forcing Little to go out to the mound. Once again, to the surprise of many Little left Pedro on the mound, even with Matsui coming up and Alan Embree, a lefty specialist, ready in the pen. Matsui would double, and than Posada would double as well tying the score at 5 as a rested pen watched their tired ace blow the lead in the latter parts of game 7. Mariano Rivera would be brought in the 9th for New York and throw 3 scoreless innings, knuckleballer Tim Wakefield for Boston pitched a perfect tenth, bringing us to the bottom of the 11th. The tension in the room was a tight as ever, the room was quiet too. Aaron Boone, who didn't even start the game for the Yankees stepped up against the knuckleballer. One pitch later, the ball was in the left field bleachers and the Yankees were moving on to the world series. Little was soon fired and thousands of t-shirts were sold with the phrase "Aaron Fing Boone." It was yet another historic collapse in the Red Sox franchise.

Now back to room 1324 where I was watching the game. My buddy Reno was devastated. To this day I don't believe I have ever witnessed any single person as crushed as he was when he saw Boone knock that ball into the left field bleachers. Reno slowly pulled his hoodie over his head, walked out to the hallway of our building and sat down on the ground. He did not move or speak for at least the next thirty minutes. Several girls tried talking to him but they had no success. After a while, he got up and walked home without saying goodbye to any of us. On the other hand, our buddy Scottie was pumped, but out of respect he stayed quiet. I think he may have feared that Reno would kill him if he rubbed it in. Reno probably had 5 inches and 100lbs on Scott. Anyways, we all know what happened the following year. Hell, they even made some horrible movie about it.

Astros- Braves 18 inning game

Now, this is what baseball is all about. The playoffs, strong comebacks, a future hall-of-famer and steroid abuser pitching in relief, and a series ending walk-off homerun. With the help of an eighth inning, grand slam by All-Star first basemen Lance Berkman and a ninth inning homer by the weak hitting Brad Ausmus, Houston was able to rally from five runs down to force extra innings.

Once we got to the extra innings, the game was dominated by the bullpens. With each pitch, with each inning the tension grew. 553 total pitches were thrown, players got weary, in fact, so weary, that that future hall-of-famer, pitcher Roger Clemens, was brought in to pinch hit. Clemens would than go on to throw three shutout innings in relief. Going into the 18th inning, the Braves were forced to rely on their only pitcher left. Rookie Joey Devine. One out later, rookie Chris Burke, who came in as a pinch runner, was launching the ball over the left field wall.

The Astros would use the momentum from this series to reach the World Series, where they would fall short to the White Sox. I'm sure my main man Barack Obama enjoyed that Series.

Phelps's 100M Fly


The summer of 2008, featured the drama of Olympic swimmer Michael Phelps going for a record 8 gold medals. Mark Spitz, also a swimmer, and I think some Russian gymnast lady had the shared the record at 7. Anyways, we all know the story by now, Phelps would win 8 in Beijing and go on to become the biggest thing in sports for the year.

The 100M Fly was the 7th step in Phelps quest for 8th and proved to be one of the most difficult. Phelps had already survived a close one in the 4 x 100 freestyle relay, thanks to a memorable performance by anchor Jason Lezak. That was the only one of Phelps races that I did not witness live, or else that may have made the list as well. Anyway, by this point all the speculation and hype were really beginning to build up. America, the world was enamored with Phelps and his quest for 8. But after 50 meters, it seemed as it was all but over. Phelps was in 7th place out of 8 with only 50 meters to go, but thats when he simply took over. One by one he started creeping past opposing swimmers and all of the sudden people began to get excited. I was at work, watching the race, cheering loudly, as the race came down to an end. The television prompted up the results, Phelps had finished 1/100 of a second faster than Serbian Mirolad Cavic. It almost seemed like one of those horribly awful sports movies where everything goes in slow motion and the main character just barely wins, but it was real and it was amazing. At work, I gave Creech a high-five and than gave another to some black man who was yelling something about how this nigga made swimming cool to black people. My manager Ted than yelled at me and told me to get back to work. I said " I was relating to the customers and creating a friendly environment that would make them want to come back." He looked at me and said " Good answer," and walked away. Several days later, I watched Phelps easily win his record setting 8th gold medal with Creech at this bar called Flips in Hampden, it was a blowout like many of his races, except it was pretty entertaining cause there was an old drunk guy sipping his spilled beer off the bar and wearing a headband out of caution tape, all while dancing on Creech.

McNair-Dyson 1 Yard Short

It was the Greatest Show on Turf against Steve McNair and the boys from the Music City Miracle. Starring Kurt Warner, Marshall Faulk, Issac Bruce, and Torry Holt the Rams brought forth one of the most prolific offenses ever. They were the heavy favorites against the Titans who needed a miracle to advance past the wildcard round. Buffalo kicker Steve Christie had just nailed a field goal to give the Bills a 16-15 lead with time nearly over. All the Bills had to do was stop the Titans from scoring on the kickoff and they would advance. However, Frank Wyncheck would throw a lateral across the entire field and Kevin Dyson would than take it 75 yards and the Bills would once again suffer a heartbreaking loss. The Titans would ride the momentum from this victory into the superbowl and the Bills, well I don't think any other team in the NFL could lose in that fashion.

Despite both teams having dominant offenses, the first half was all defense. Rams kicker Jeff Wilkins was perfect on three field goal attempts, and St. Louis went into the half leading 9-0. The Titans got the ball to start the second half and had a nice drive, but an Al Del Greco field goal was blocked and the score remained deadlocked at 9-0. Warner and the Rams responded by adding a touchdown to go up 16-0 and all of the sudden it seemed as if the Titans were all but out of it, than Mr. McNair came to work. A 23 yard scramble by McNair helped set up a short touchdown run by Eddie George, the Titans would go for two and come up short, making the score 16-6. The touchdown sparked a rally and shortly thereafter, George would add another touchdown and Del Greco would actually convert a meaningful field goal and the score was now tied 16-16 with just over two minutes to play.

The Greatest Show on Turf, would than prove its name to be true as Warner needed only one play to connect with Issac Bruce on a 73 yard touchdown pass giving the Rams a 23-16 lead and McNair and the Titans less than two minutes to make another post season miracle happen. Several completions later, and one 12 yard scramble and McNair called his final timeout. The Titans were 10 yards away from the endzone, down by 7, six seconds to go. I was watching the game at my friend Danny Hunters house, everyone was on the edge of their seats. Even the mom's who were simply only their to eat food and watch the commercials seemed to care. McNair hiked the ball, found a streaking Kevin Dyson, Dyson the Miracle Man from Buffalo, made the catch but an alert linebacker named Mike Jones had jumped quickly onto Dyson and wrapped himself around the legs of the receiver. Both players would go into a rolling motion and Dyson's outstretched arm fell one yard short. The game was over. The Rams won 23-16 in one of the greatest and most exciting superbowls ever. The best part was it was snowing heavily that night and they had already canceled school that next morning. All the kids at the party ran out to Danny's front yard and were allowed to play football.

18-1

The 2007 New England Patriots appeared to be the best team ever. They demolished every offensive record in the books. They destroyed every team they played in the regular season but Baltimore, Philadelphia, and New York. They had the great Tom Brady at quarterback, a manchild in Randy Moss at wideout, and the evil genius calling the shots in Bill Bellicheck. Than they ran into a goofy looking quarterback named Eli, a dominating defensive line, a one-hit, well one-catch wonder, and a big mouthed wide receiver named Plaxico.

One of my sporting claims to fame is all of last season, I defended the Giants. Several of my friends said they were garbage, they wouldn't make the playoffs, blah blah blah. I stuck to my points saying their defensive line is the best in football, Brandon Jacobs is a beast and Eli isn't that bad they are the best team in the NFC. With a late season push, the Giants did make the playoffs as a wild card. Several weeks later they were going up against the almighty Patriots.

Wide receiver Plaxico Burress guaranteed they would win the week before. It seemed like nothing because athletes come up with so many guarantees now a days that its pointless. Hell, earlier in the NFL season Jon Kitna guaranteed the Lions would win 10 games.

So I watched the Giants-Patriots superbowl at my buddy Coreys house. This was just after a roadtrip to Salisbury. Once we returned to Towson, I had one of my most horrifying moments of my life. Townsend shanked me, Corey grabbed my boxers and threw them in a tree and his brother Mike grabbed his aerosoft rifle and I ran around Coreys front yard in late January jumping around holding my balls and screaming for my safety. This has nothing to do with the superbowl, but I felt like adding it to the story.

The game was far from the most exciting Superbowl, as defense dominated until the winding minutes of the 4th quarter. A Tom Brady to Randy Moss touchdown pass gave the Patriots a 14-10 lead with just under 3 minutes left to play. So goofy looking Eli Manning comes out hoping to pull a Tom Brady and lead his team down the field. Following two receptions, the Giants faced a 4th-and-1 and the world's biggest running back, Brandon Jacobs, pounded his way through the New England defenders to give the G-Men a new set of downs. Three plays later, with the Giants facing 3rd-and 11, NFL films would find themselves a play they could replay for years to come. The New England defenders encircled Manning, than from out of the midst, Manning emerged still standing and fired a pass to David Tyree. Tyree somehow managed to hold onto the pass, bracing it against the back of his helmet, despite tough defense from steroid abuser Rodney Harrison. Whenever, I view that catch I think of Justin Timberlakes sketch from the Espy's where he is on the giants sideline and puts his gum on the back of Tyree's helmet. The very next play, Plaxico Burress shot past Ellis Hobbs on a slant play and caught the winning touchdown, pulling off one of the greatest upsets ever. Months later Burress was not shooting past defenders, he was shooting himself in the leg, not that that has anything to do with the game,but either way I felt it deserved mentioning. I mean when else can you say in the course of one year I saw one of the most talented wide receivers make a great play to help his team win the Superbowl and than shoot himself in the leg when he was dancing at a nightclub while he was supposed to be nursing a hamstring injury.

Vince Young beats USC

The USC Trojans seemed all but destined to be repeating as National Champions for the third straight year, holding on to a 12 point lead with less than seven minutes to go, than Vince Young took charge. In fact, I was almost ready to turn the television off, I remember I was about to go somewhere with my friend Sarah, when I decided to give Young just a few more minutes.

Young, came through with one of the greatest performances in Rose Bowl history, rushing for 200 yards and 3 touchdowns, while throwing for another 267 against zero interceptions. He outshined Heisman trophy winner, Reggie Bush and was simply a man amongst children. He did have some help though, thanks to the ever cocky Pete Carroll who went for it on 4th and 2 with the lead and only two minutes to go at their 45 yard line. They were denied and Carroll had just put the ball back in the hands of the best athlete on the field with a short field.

Several players later, the Longhorns were looking at a 4th and 5 from the 8 yard line with under one minute to go. I remember at the time, thinking their gonna do a quarterback draw. USC has to know their going to run a quarterback draw. But it didn't matter, Young was a man on a mission and couldn't be stopped. He avoided the Trojan defenders, than did the same exact thing on the 2 point conversion to give Texas the 3point lead. It was possibly the most dominating football performance by a single player, I've ever witnessed, plus I won a 20$bet with DahDah on the game and taking money from that kid is a good enough reason alone to make it on this list.

Years later, Vince Young lost his job to a 38year old Kerry Collins and his mother was doing his interviews for him. Chunky soup really should give him and his mother a call for their ads, it be so much more suiting than the McNabb or LT mother/son commercials. The quarterback on the other side of the field, Matt Leinart, well he sucks too. Although he goes to parties and does beer bongs with hot girls.

Baltimore Orioles vs. Cleveland Indians, Game 6, 1997 A.L.C.S.

Remember up at the top of this list, when I said I would probably cringe when writing about some of these moments. This is the one I was referring too. The Orioles had just gone wire-to-wire. They were the best team in baseball and they seemed poised to make the World Series. Mike Mussina, Scott Erickson, and Jimmy Key gave them one of the best starting rotations in baseball and with Arthur Rhodes, Alan Mills, Armando Benitez, and Randy Myers our bullpen was equally adequate. The lineup was solid from 1-9, and we had plenty of talent on the bench. However, that bullpen was falling apart in the A.L.C.S. having blown leads in three of the first four games. Game 6 proved to be the same. I went to the game live with my father. The two of us did not have any tickets and were looking to buy some off scalpers. The scalpers were charging absurd prices and we were about to just go watch the game somewhere, when my Dad saw his buddy from high school. Well, this guy runs Oasis and gave us two employee cards and snuck us in the backdoor and told us to go sit with a couple other guys my Dad knew from back in the day. Next thing I know, I'm three rows behind third base and couldn't be happier. Eventually that would change. Mike "Moose" Mussina delivered another postseason gem in Game 6, by throwing seven scoreless ininings. He finished the A.L.C.S. with 15 scoreless innings and 25 strikeouts. Despite this strong performance he was 0-0 and the team was 0-2 in his starts. Anyway, after the seventh inning, manager Davey Johnson put in the team closer Randy Myers, who would keep the game scoreless for another two innings. Than they handed the ball over to Armando Benitez. In the 11th, Tony Fernandez, who was only playing the game cause he had injured the starting second baseman during batting practice, hit a solo shot and that was that. Benitez was 0-2 for the series with an E.R.A. of 12. When Fernandez hit the homerun my Dad's buddy said " I hope 1,000 camels shit on your head while you sleep tonight."


Terrapins win the National Championship



After surviving a late scare and putting fear in the hearts of many Terp fans, who had seen their team lose in the Final Four the previous year, the Terrapins were able to hold on and beat All-American Drew Gooden and his Kansas squad to advance to the Championship. In the Championship, they would play the Hoosiers of Indiana, who were on a miracle run of their own. They had the pesty point guard Tom Coverdale, who the media outlet's loved, but in reality was a picture perfect red-headed step child if there's ever been one. They also had the freshman phenom in Jared Jefferies and several athletes who could light up from beyond the arc. Maryland, on the other side, was loaded. They had Steve Blake, Juan Dixon, Byron Mouton, Chris Wilcox, and Lonny Baxter. They were a number one seed, and played the best team possible all the way up to the championship game. They lead virtually the whole game and with a late run, Terrapin fans every where knew that they were winning it all. Calvert Hall Grad Juan Dixon, was named the tournament's Most Outstanding Player. Four of the five starters, went onto the NBA.

Milfs, Brenda Warner, and Hobbits on Crack

This whole weekend turned out far different than I expected it to turn out. I was at Corey's Friday night and we were about to walk down the street to get some food and we were just waiting on Townsend, who was talking on the phone. Due to the nature of his voice, we could tell he was on the phone with a girl, we also could tell it was a girl that he had not spent very much time talking too. The next thing we hear is him asking this girl on what kinda food she likes and than he's saying something about taking her out for Italian food next Friday. Several minutes later, he finally came downstairs and we asked him who he was talking too, he replied " Gina's mom."

After we ate, Townsend left to go The Still in Timonium so he could go milf hunting and attempt to fulfill a lifelong dream. Bennett was already chasing tail in Columbia, so that left just Corey and I at his house. It was still kinda early so we figured we'd start the night with some Fifa battles on Xbox 360 and than go out. Poly and Skeen and them were heading to Federal Hill and Julia and some girls were also going there, so that seemed like the likely and only option. After the Fifa battles, which you could hardly call a battle cause Corey dominated, we switched to a power hour. Next thing you know it's a double power hour and were out of beer. This is where we realized that the two of us are not motivators, were go with the flow-ers, and we would not be going anywhere. The motivator is the person at the house or pregame party that really pushes what bar everyone goes to and even though you really may not want to go to that certain bar you end up doing so because motivator A or B is so adamant about going there. With this in mind, we went to get more beer and returned to his house. We than lost a fight with a vaporizor and were soon walking to Royal Farms. On the walk back from Royal Farms, I got a call from a wasted Bart. It was about 2:30 at this point, Bart had just gotten home, he lives on the same street as Corey, and the conversation went something like this:
Bart: "Geilf, whats going on?"
Geilfuss: "Not much, just with Corey walking back from Royal Farms."
Bart: "Fuckin right, where the bitches at?"
Geilfuss: " I couldn't really tell you, it's just me and Cor."
Bart: "Fuck you Geilf. Your fucking worthless."
Geilfuss: "Your the one who called me asshole, obviously there's no girls at your place, so your no better off than I am."
Bart: "Fuck that noise, your sleeping on Corey's couch tonight, at least I get to sleep in my own bed."
He than hung up the phone


When we got back to Corey's, I managed to haggle him into giving me his Terps ticket for Saturday night. The deal was I had to blog about it and lend him my playstation3 for a week.

Saturday afternoon, I went over to Mike Fick's to meet up with him and Townsend. The three of us along with my buddy Greg were going down to the game to see the Terps square off against Miami. We picked up Greg, and a bottle of vodka, and were soon on our way to College Park. Mike had two sets of tickets, being that all four were his he took one of the nicer ones and let the other seat be determined by an open competition. He would ask random trivia questions and if we knew the answer we would have to yell "Rack Em", if we were first to yell "Rack Em" we would get the chance to answer the question, first one to five, won the seat with Mike. Greg won by a score of 5-3-3. "Rack Em" is a reference to this homeless crackhead who calls himself "Rack Em Willie." I reccomend searching for him if your ever bored and in need of a laugh. Anyways, by this point Townsend and I had nearly consumed half the bottle of vodka and were walking into the madhouse that is the Comcast Center. When we got to our seats, we soon realized that we were stuck in a hub of old people and families. This kind of created this alter world, were we both felt that we were being looked at suspiciously throughout the whole game and viewed as repugnant and belligerent. I don't think that's really what was going on, but go to a sporting event, where alcohol is not sold, and sit in the midst of older people and little children, when you wreak of cheap vodka, and tell me you don't feel the same. The Terps pulled out the win, and a much needed one in that, and we were soon on our way back to Towson. I tried to convince Mike and Greg, to go to Steve's to watch the UFC fight, but he was set on just going back to Greg's.

On our way down to College Park, the news got broken to us that Phelps had been busted on some British tabloid for taking a bong rip. The next day, the radio was full of callers getting on his case and saying how he let down his fans and a whole bunch of other gay shit like that. All of these people that called in probably don't know that the Superbowl MVP was caught with two joints in his car this year and admitted he sold drugs as a juvenile, but Phelps toking the reefer is national news. Just about everyone I know has at least tinkered with the shit or hangs out with people that do. If he was at a party and someone got a picture of Jose Canseco injecting him with steroids, than that would have been a big deal, but I don't think the wacky tobaccy is making him swim any faster in the water. Push comes to shove, ask any parent or anyone that jumped on the bandwagon and criticized the kid......Would you rather have your 23 year old kid smoke some reefer on the side and have 14 gold medals to their name.....or would you rather have them stay away from the ganga and be like the rest of us 23 year olds, broke, struggling to pay rent, and still trying to figure out what exactly it is they want to do to make a name and lifestyle for themselves. I have a feeling which one most people are choosing.

Sunday night, I went to my buddy Jon's house for the Superbowl. I showed up a few minutes late and missed being able to be part of their Superbowl pool, which turned out to be the true excitement of the night. Jon was in one with most the people in the house, and another at work. The work one was the big one. The first three quarters of the game, he hit the right score and won the pool. Jon was up $375 and going out of control. Imagine a hobbit. But this hobbit is jacked, has spiky hair, Greek and is running around the room like a wild man on crack, screaming at the top of his lungs in enjoyment. That's basically the scene I saw at the end of the third quarter, when he won for the third straight time. The fourth quarter while exciting really sucked, cause the Steelers came back and won with 35 seconds to go and I quite possibly hate the Steelers more than anything on Earth. But I end with just one question. When did Brenda Warner become hot?