A Memoir to all that was the Kent Lounge-Part I

This is my 100th post and for some reason 100 is a significant number, so I've decided to make this a somewhat significant post. With this in mind, I decided to focus on the one place that pops up the most on this blog, the Kent Lounge. Unfortunately, the Kent Lounge has taken a turn for the worse and I no longer know a single bartender there unless you count George, but no decent human being would ever count him. However, there was a time where I knew every bartender there and I enjoyed having a beer or two there from time to time, and it is those times that I will focus on. So here is a list of a few of the more memorable moments at the Get Bent Lounge.

Townsend slugs an unsuspecting overweight minor in the face

There are moments in everyone's life that they are not proud of and this moment is certainly one of Townsend's. Several years ago, I headed up to the Get Bent Lounge with Townsend, Mike Major, and Bill Mosner. It was a cold night and the weather was keeping many people inside, forcing the four of us to provide our own entertainment. We did this the only way we knew possible: drink beer and play titty touchers. Eventually, we grow weary of touching tits on a screen and started debating our next move. The Rec Room, Souris, and other bars in the immediate area were thrown out as possible ideas, but than Townsend came up with one of his own. He proclaimed he was going to slug someone in the bar for no apparent reason whatsoever. The man was quite adamant on his proclamation so we decided to let him carry on with it and he began to debate, who to slug. His first thought was to slug Paulie for the sole reason that Paulie was an overweight old guy wearing an Eagles jersey, but Bill and I informed him that Paulie was friends with Pat and was probably not the best option. We scouted the room and eventually decided that the only reasonable option was the fat kid in the corner. This poor soul was minding his own business in the corner of the bar and appeared to be on a date with an overweight individual that resembled a female. After a few shots of liquid confidence, Townsend confidently strolled up to the couple, tapped the guy on the shoulder and sucker punched him in the face. Defenseless, the little chubster fell off his stool and onto the ground and Townsend was quickly headed out of the bar. As one could expect, the guy came storming out of the ball and confronted Townsend violently. His violent confrontation caught the attention of the local law enforcement and they were soon interacting. At this point, Townsend looked at the police officers and said, "I swear officers, the kids on drugs, I've never seen him before in my life." The cops than separated the two, and demanded to see legal identification. Townsend obliged but the pudgy kid with a black eye failed to do so and was taken away in a police car. Several years have now passed and Townsend has accepted the stupidity of the night. He is rightfully embarrassed by his actions and typically acts a bit more appropriate now, but there is one moral to this story. If your going to take a girl on a date, stay far, far, away from the Kent Lounge, for it is nothing but a den of inequity.

Ross and Damon go out-by themselves.

Typically, whenever one sees Ross and Damon at the same bar, they are accompanied by Andy and this is a good thing. You see, Andy is the voice of reason for the two of them and the only one amongst the trio with a sense of decency. Take Andy out of the picture and trouble is bound to happen and it certainly did one night at the Get Bent Lounge. I don't know why Andy didn't make it out and at this point I was still recovering from my brain blowing up, so that left Ross and Damon by themselves. I don't know how the night really went along, but I know it involved lots of shots. After the shots started to take the toll, the conversation probably started to dwindle and a change of scenery was probably needed and it's at this point that the presence of Andy was certainly missed. With Stilling around, Damon would have most likely just disappeared and Ross would have just ventured out to the parking lot and thrown up, but that wasn't the case. Instead, the two decided to head to a place worse than the Get Bent Lounge, they went to the Ramada. After about thirty minutes at the Ramada, because no one can survive more than a half hour there, they decided to head to the only place worse than the Ramada, Kaos. Fully tanked and swearing like sailors, the two of them entered Kaos and began mocking every lifeless soul that spends his pennies on third-rate strippers with pasties. By two, Ross was being carried into Damon's car and they were on their back to the Colony to pass out. Upon arrival, Damon had a rather difficult time getting Ross inside so he did the only reasonable thing, leave Ross in the car to sleep it off. At some point the images of Kaos must have woken Ross up and caused him to move around a bit, because he managed to pull down the emergency brake. Several minutes later, Ross was waking up as he realized he crashed Damon's car into some girls apartment at the Colony. Thankfully for Ross though, Creech was there and the two of them were able to push the car out of the living room and escape from the fat girl Creech had just nailed before she could ask for his number.

Vaeth speaks his mind to a member of the Dream Team

This is another moment that I failed to be present for, but yet I heard the story so many times, I had to mention the night. Rumor has it that one night Vaeth, Andy, Damon and Ross were drinking beers at the Kent. Shocking, I know. Eventually, a few members of the Dream Team strolled in and one of them was with her overprotective boyfriend. My personal beliefs are that anyone who would ever court a member of the Dream Team has to be despicable themselves, but to each their own and if this kid finds it in his heart to date a member of the Dream Team than so be it. I just don't want to hear him whine and cry when she cheats on him again and again and again. Anyways, alcohol eventually took its course that night as it usually does and Vaeth began to that thing where one coughs than says a derogatory word about someone in close vicinity and than coughs again. He proceeded to do this until the particular member of the Dream Team he was referring to noticed and took offense. Once she spoke up and expressed her feelings of Vaeth that overprotective boyfriend was forced to speak up as well. Here, the emotions began to escalate and Vaeth was forced to put the nail in the coffin. As the girl was trying in vain to defend herself, Vaeth simply said " You slept with Geilfuss." Even though the statement was not true, it was delivered effectively and the point was clearly made. From what I can gather it was similar to when the fat kid in the Sandlot tells the rich kid he throws like a girl. Either way, the emotions started to escalate and that over protective boyfriend attempted to start a physical confrontation with Vaeth. It got to the point where Andy had to get involved and play the role of mediator. Things eventually boiled down and Vaeth, Ross, and Damon went back to doing what they do best, drinking beer. The overprotective boyfriend went back to crying to any helpless soul willing to listen and as for the member of the Dream Team, well she took advantage of all the commotion and sneaked off with George to his office.