The Dream Team Goes to Court

There were plenty of white flurries in the Baltimore area this past weekend and the overall snow accumalation was over 20 inches. Due to the inclement weather, I found myself trapped in downtown Baltimore, which is not a bad thing considering I have quite a few friends in the Canton/Highlandtown area. I don't know what it is about the snow, but it seems to bring out the best in people. For some reason, people just become friendlier when the roads are covered in snow and they are forced to resort to the more traditional forms of transportation. Yesterday, while I was walking to Patterson Park to enjoy some snow related activities, I noticed that everyone just seemed to be at ease. Perhaps its because the snow just provides everyone with an easy icebreaker. Typically people bolt out of their homes and go straight to their autombiles and are off on their way, but when their is a foot of snow on the ground, life slows down a bit, and neighbors start talking to each other and helping each other out. Ugh I'm starting to get sentimenetal.

As I mentioned in my last post, I recently had to take part in jury duty and it turned out to be quite the interesting day. The morning started out rather slow as I was forced to watch some informational video explaining the importance of jury duty. This video depicted jury duty as a patrotic act where jurors where along the same lines as members of the U.S. Army. Images of the American flag blowing in the wind and a bald eagle flying above mountaintops were shown in this short informational video. It was pretty silly and I don't think anyone bought into the idea. Quite frankly, the majority of people sitting in the room, looked downright miserable. It's possible that you see happier people at the MVA in Essex. After the brief video, the lady responsible for sigining all the jurors in put a movie on for everyone to watch as they waited to be called to the courtroom. The movie was Secondhand Lions and I actually kinda liked it. It was similiar to that movie Big Fish that got lots of attention a few years ago, but with a splice of redneck, which made it pretty cool. It also had that freaky kid from The Sixth Sense. After the movie, we had a 2 hour break for lunch, which just seemed absurd. 2 hours for lunch? I mean the woman behind me had three chins and she wouldnt even need two hours to eat lunch, even if lunch was at Golden Corral. Anyways, I ventured around the greater Towson area for awhile and eventually found my way back to the courtroom. I was half tempted to stop in the Kent and just get sloshed before returning to jury duty, but than I remembered the video and figured that getting hammered on my lunch break would be a way of disrespecting my right to serve as a juror. So I settled for a 5 dollar footlong and eventually found my way back to the courthouse and this is where things started to heat up.

After another half or so, I was finally called to the courtroom, where lawyers began to ask questions to some of the potential jurors. At this point, I was tempted to follow the advice of my buddy Damon and say something about how I hate Mexicans, but once again my mind flashed back to the video and I answered all questions honestly, because once again, jury duty is a serious thing and one of the greatest services American citizens can offer to their community. Eventually,the majority of people were eliminated and I was selected to be a part of the jury. We filed into the courtroom and once the opening arguements began, I soon realized that I should not have been selected to serve as a juror. I realized this because I knew the girl was who was suing in the case. She was a member of the infamous Dream Team and was pressing charges against some guy for sexual assault. Supposedly, she got all drunk and rowdy on George's tab at the Kent and than became flirtatious with this overweight guy with long shaggy hair. Eventually, the flirtation became serious and this fat-ass decided to invite her back to his Astro van for some post bar drinks. Here, is where the trouble started. At this point the girl had spent too much time in the third bathrooom at the Kent, which is a den of inequity and her memory started to fail her. So when she followed this overweight shaggy haired fellow back to his Astro van she was techincally out of her element and didn't know what was going on. The whole dream team was summoned to the court to serve as witnesses, but not to my surprise not one of them was helpful, as they all had drank too much in George's office and were not able to recall the events of the night. After a while, the two lawyers concluded their arguements and we were sent downstairs to discuss the trial. At this point, I felt that I should do the right thing and admit to having prior relations with the Dream Team and once I stepped up to the plate and came clean, three of the five other guys in the room admitted that they too had prior relations with this girl, and as a result we felt we could not serve the jury adequately. A few seconds later, one of the females in the room stepped up and said she had had prior relations with this girl as well on one snowy night last winter when she had a bit too much too drink at CVPs. So we were forced to admit our wrongs and as a result of the Dream Team's flirtations and provacative behavoir the trial ended in a mistrial. The Fucking dream team, they really do get around.

Currently, I'm watching the Titans game and that running back they have really does know how to run the ball. For a little guy he is an absolute monster.