Home Alone

I spent a few minutes on my Thanksgiving morning watching an old classic, "Home Alone." Eventually, football came on and I was forced to change the channel, because if a grown ass man is watching "Home Alone" when a football game is being aired, well there are some definite issues there. Quite frankly, "Home Alone" was probably the better option because Aaron Rodgers and the Packers handed the Detroit Lions another embarrassing Thanksgiving Day loss, but that's besides the point, football is football. Anyways, the movie did remind me of one thing and that is sometimes being home alone is simply amazing. I'm home alone right now and I don't think its possible for me to be enjoying myself anymore. Five minutes ago, I took a shit with the door open and put the television to full blast so I could hear the action of the LSU game. Prior to my bowel movements, I probably spent twenty minutes walking around the house in nothing but a towel. The towel fell off several times and as a result of being home alone, there was no sense of urgency to pulling the towel back up to my waist. Right now, I am blogging, eating nachos and drinking soda, while watching the game. Typically, if the parental units were in the house, my father would be yelling at me for being lazy and having food and drink around the computer. But right now I can do what I want without any trouble, I just gotta keep the nacho cheese off the keyboard.

A short entry today, but I want to leave all the dedicated readers with a prelude to my next entry. It will be in honor of my blog's one year anniversary and it should be a special one. Hint: it involves a trip to the block and a lady named T. It's going to be a dandy.


The righteousness of Tim Tebow infuriates me.

A Poker Game Where the Jacoby's Would be Considered High Rollers

I believe it was January of last year when I wrote about playing a $5 poker game with the Jacoby's. Since that night, I've been invited over on several occasions by Luke to once again join in on some underground gambling, but for some reason or another, I have yet to make it out to one of these outings. To be quite honest, I would most definitely there again, the Jacoby's are truly some some good people, and poker is always entertaining, even if it is an utterly pointless game. Nevertheless, the other day, I decided to log onto my Full Tilt poker account, for mere shits and giggles. After signing in, I noticed that I actually had 97 cents to my name. So I did the only thing reasonable one could do on Full Tilt with a 97 cent bankroll, I played a game of no limit Texas Hold Em with the blinds at one and two cents. It didn't take long for me to pick up on the silliness of this game. The most amusing thing here, was the utter morons who would somehow find a way to get pissed off when their Kings or Aces were cracked by 2-7 off-suit. They would bitch and bitch like a bunch of Eagles fans regarding Andy Reid's inexplicable clock management. They would complain about playing with "donkeys" and type ridiculous comments into chat room. Eventually, I got busted by one of these so called "donkeys" and was forced to leave the game, just 32 cents short of 6 bucks, which would have been enough to gain entry into a decent tournament, where one could make some actual money. I'm not going to tell you the whole bad beat story, because I'm quite convinced that one part of hell is made up of people telling you their bad beat stories.I guess what I'm trying to say is poker is quite the silly game, and if you want to bitch about "poor play" at least go to a game that is not full of broke desperate people or a game where a significant raise is 15 cents, because even the Jacoby's will raise a quarter.

I've noticed a lot of people have shown excitement over the Ravens recent decision to part ways with kicker Steven Hauschka and I can see where there coming from but I don't totally agree. Granted, Hauschka had his obvious problems, but cutting Hauschka left the Ravens with a hole in their roster and I don't think Billy Cundiff is the solution to the Ravens problems. Cundiff, who most recently played for the Cleveland Browns, goes through jobs in the NFL like I go through jobs in the greater Baltimore metropolitan area and if theres a starter on the Ravens with a work history comparable to that of my own, well we got issues.

Thanksgiving Eve and a High School Reunion

I signed into that website where people like to do silly things suck as poke people and noticed an invitation to my six and a half year high school reunion. For reasons I can't explain, my graduating class decided to go against the social norm and not have the typical five year reunion. It probably has something to do with just the general laziness of 20 somethings, but either way,someone decided to make up for lost time and schedule one after nearly seven years. As of now, I'm not 100% sure if I will be attending or not. I don't really see the point, I still socialize with a good majority of my high school classmates on a regular basis. Typically, I see them out at the bars on the weekends or square up against them in fantasy football. Plus, there's the fact that Towson High basically has an annual high school reunion in Towson on Thanksgiving Eve, at one of the various bars located along York Road and
that night is rapidly approaching.

Speaking of Thanksgiving, Turkey Day will be the one year anniversary of my blog and it was the events of last Thanksgiving Eve that led me to starting this damn thing. When an unknown female kindly pulls out of her way to offer you a ride home and Creech runs around the bar screaming about screwing fat chicks, one's creativity just reaches new levels. In fact, I spent the majority of my blog devoted to this dame who is so willing to offer complete strangers a ride home. I also spent some time talking about the Lions and it appears that once again they will be getting their asses handed to them on Thanksgiving. So I guess all I need is for another completely random chic to offer me a ride home and it will be an exact repeat of last year. Because the likelihood of me walking home as a result of taking one too many shots with Pat and Andy is very high. The Lions will also most likely lose, and it is pretty safe to say that Creech will also once again find a way to make an ass of himself.


NBA action is now in full swing and there's a kid in Milwaukee who has been lighting up the scoreboard. After spending a year playing basketball in Rome, Brandon Jennings is taking the NBA by storm. His game is somewhat reminiscent of Nick Van Exel, but unlike Van Exel, Jennings actually passes the ball from time to time. In fact, he's succeeded at making Andrew Bogut seem like a viable option at center. And when you have the ability to make a 6"9 center from Austrailia succeed in the Nba, you can flat out ball.

A Trip Down Route 40

Last Saturday, I was helping Matt clear out an old house in Greektown. The job required us to load up my truck with a bunch of garbage and haul it out the county landfill for disposal. As the day neared completion, we decided it was to replenish our bodies with some nutrients. This decision led us to Arby's. No sooner do we order, than we notice there is a guy somewhere in the restaurant talking loudly about his interactions with women. Being that Arby's is a public place and freedom of speech is a Constitutional right we didn't pay much attention to this man. That was until it came time to look for a seat. As we turned the corner, we instantly noticed that there wasn't a soul in the near vicinity of this man. He was talking out loud about promiscuous women and their various behaviors. This seemed quite amusing, so we did the only thing imaginable, found a seat in the near vicinity of that man. Shortly after sitting down, another intriguing development with this man was exposed. On top of talking out loud about loose women, the man was drinking. Not drinking Pepsi or Ice Tea like the majority of patrons at Arby's, but drinking the poor man's Corona, Modelo. Propped on top of his table, was a 12 pack of the Mexican beer. The more he drank, the more he rambled on about women. After a few minutes, the man collected his 12 pack, walked out of Arby's, and began stumbling down the street. Several steps later and he was falling face first down a grassy hill on the side of the road. He eventually gathered himself and managed to walk far enough to get out of eye's view, and our once exciting adventure at Arby's was now over. With the man now gone, we began debating the absolute randomness of this event, but than I realized one key factor. We were on Route 40 and we were only several minutes from Essex.

I saw some picture this week where former Baltimore Oriole Sammy Sosa is doing his best Michael Jackson impersonation. Supposedly, the man is taking some kind of skin cream and as a result his skin has turned a ghostly white. This comes as another intriguing turn of events, for the former MVP. A one time first-ballot Hall-of-Fame, Sosa may now go down as a laughing stock and only be remembered for doing the juice, corking his bat, and being white.

The Irish festival is in town this weekend and I may have to stop in to celebrate my Irish heritage. It's been a few years since I've last attended, but anytime you get a bunch of Irish people together, drinking beer, good things are bound to happen.

Andre Agassi Rocks a Hair Piece

I was driving home this morning and listening to "The Herd" on ESPN radio, and host Colin Cowherd made an interesting point during his talk show. He was speaking about Andre Agassi's recent interview with Katie Couric on 60 Minutes. Now, the interview received a lot of publicity because during the interview, Agassi admitted to using crystal meth. He also admitted that he absolutely hated playing tennis. Despite these two rather surprising confessions, Cowherd noted that it was his third confession that was most shocking. Agassi also confessed that he wore a hairpiece while playing in the 1990 French Open. Typically, I tend to disregard the silly opinions of talk show hosts such as Cowherd, but in this particular case, I think he was dead on.

Hearing that Agassi wore a hair piece during the 1990 French Open that was help up with bobby pins is like being told the mullet that Billy Ray Cyrus rocked when he sung "Achy Breaky Heart" was a fake. It just doesn't seem right. I guess hair really does matter. Only if Barry Bonds had a jerry curl.

There are certain athletes out there who really merit the word "Fuckin" being inserted as their middle name and Tony Romo is certainly atop that list.I'm pretty sure Tyson uttered those same exact words, as Romo led the Cowboys to a dramatic fourth quarter comeback against the Eagles. His touchdown to Miles Austin also helped me secure a 1 point victory over Doin Juice in fantasy football. Tony Fuckin Romo.

Manu Ginobli Impersonates Van Helsing

Recently, the popular social networking site known as Facebook, has really started to irritate me. It's gotten to the point, where I have even debated deleting the whole thing in general. Seriously, they keep giving me advice on people to reconnect with or poke in an attempt to make facebook better, and to be quite honest, I'm more likely to become the spokesperson for PETA, than I am to establish some desire to reconnect to some of these people or poke some guy who was in my eighth grade health class. Social networking, it's silly.

Speaking of PETA, they've managed to make news again in the sporting world. This time, they are up in arms against Manu Ginobli for swatting down a bat during the middle of the Spurs-Kings game. In a statement released to the press, PETA accused Ginobli of not having a heart for a humbler animal and thats just silly. Now, I have never met Manu so I couldn't tell you if he has a good heart or not, but in my mind, and hopefully in the minds of any respectable human being, swatting down a flying bat that is interfering with your health and work, is not a sign of a despicable human being. Oh and just for the record, Manu had to get vaccinated after the game, so both the human and the bat suffered, at least the bat looked cool on instant replay though. As for the whole highlight, I'd put it a few notches below the time when the Big Unit crushed a pigeon with a fastball, that was awesome.

I watched the first episode of this new television show "The League" on FX and it was actually pretty comical. It basically revolves around a bunch of thirty-somethings who take fantasy football too seriously and their upcoming fantasy football season. At times it may seem a bit unrealistic and over dramatic, but it's almost dead on. If you don't believe me go to a bar on Sunday that has Sunday Ticket and watch the number of pathetic guys getting over-excited for that last minute touchdown in garbage time, and you will realize the validity of the show. The sad thing is though, I'm making fun of fantasy football players, when I run my own league, and play in three others, so I guess I'm just as pathetic, but oh well, it helps me pass the time.