"Endlessly Entertaining," and "Thank you for respecting my space."

Well, the Christmas holiday has officially come and gone. I was half tempted to write a Christmas blog, but after much thought I decided against it, and by much thought I mean roughly 19 seconds. While I am a fan of the Christmas season, it's basically the same thing for everyone every year, unless, your a Jehovah's witness. So there will be no mushy talk of how important the holiday is or what it meant to me this year, simply I have moved on to different things. Here we go...


I was standing outside the Kent Lounge Monday night, with Andy, Ross, and Jess and Jess mentions that Andy and Damon have often said she is the female version of Ross. At first, this struck me as odd. However, as she continued to speak, the comparison was defined to a further extent. She said that they were both "endlessly entertaining," and nothing could be more true. Upon my arrival that night, Ross began telling me a story on how we awoke on Christmas Eve. Now, while I do not have the right to go and tell Ross' personal stories, I will leave you with just a preview. It involves Ross leaving with "some wench," her telling him "thank you for respecting my space" and than "waking up to a cop banging on my car window at a6:30 in the morning on Christmas Eve, still piss ass drunk." Add those 3 things together, throw in Ross as the main subject and you get " Endlessly entertaining." The story alone made it well worth going out.

Jess also had some very entertaining story, about some douchebag she went to high school with.

I just spilled my Coke while writing, it caused me to use profanities loudly.

So I'm about to head down to Corey's to go out and celebrate the end of 2008. The New Years holiday, is basically another pointless one. People across the country, go out, and to borrow the words of the great Ricky Bobby " get hammer drunk," and get super excited about the start of a new year. This is supposed to be the year, where they turn everything around, start fresh, and save the world or some crap like that. Push comes to shove, 12 months later, their getting wasted again telling how their friends how great this upcoming year will be. It's basically an endless circle of stupidity, but a fun one to say the least.

DDing for idiots, Gloomy Daze, and $5 poker

So Saturday night at halftime of the Ravens game, my old roommate Creech gives me a call and lets me know he is getting into Towson to watch the Ravens game at Fridays. Being that I was bored as all hell and wanted to get out of the house, I decided to let him pick me up and catch the second half of the game in a public setting.
Upon our arrival at Fridays, I first notice that the bar is packed full of Cowboys fans. There were also a small number of Ravens fans in attendance as well, but the Cowboys fans dominated the bar crowd. As the game started to dwindle down, some of these fans started to get rowdy. Now, Fridays for whatever reason hires state troopers as their bouncers and this made the night interesting. There were several arrests, including this guy Craig, who I used to work with at
Gloomy Daze. Now, for anyone who has met Craig there is only one way to put him. A belligerent drunk asshole, who serves no good purpose. Besides that he is a fun guy. Anyway, Craig is arguing with some friend of his and the bouncer/state trooper throws them both out but Craig decided to get big and tell the trooper to F off, that didn't work well for Craig.
Anyways as far as the Ravens game, the Ravens actually made some big plays in a big game and came away with a victory in a game I thought they would lose. Had they made some of those big plays in either game against Pittsburgh or against the Titans they would be 13-2 at this point, but that's a different story.
Now, with the game winding down, Creech and several of his buddies from high school are debating what to do with the rest of the night. Creech throws out the idea of Mosiac, but some are worried about driving downtown and everything, so being that I'm feeling pretty good at the time, I offer to DD. With this offer in mind, everyone is set on Mosiac and I am shortly on the Jones Fall Expressway with a car full of drunk assholes.
Twenty minutes later and one short piss in the parking lot near Powerplant, we are walking into Mosiac. For anyone who has never been to Powerplant, it is a large group of big wild nightclubs in Baltimore City, that attracts a pretty large crowd. Most of these bars have V.I.P. areas, hot European women, and weird paintings and designs throughout the club that I believe are supposed to make them look more sophisticated. Anyways, as soon as we get there, Creech, Brann and everyone begins to take round and round of shots. With Smedium as bartender, the drinks tend to flow fast and cheap. So anyways as the night goes on, Brann is sold on one idea. Using me as his wing man, to talk to girls. He kept coming up with crazy stories about how I was injured in Iraq, or saved a small girl from getting hit by a car, however, none of them worked and Brann ended up at Jesse's. Near the end of the night, Creech was talking to some random girl, and his buddy Payne whispers into her ear that she has cancer. She begins to flip out and get very worried. They keep rolling with the story and he is feeling bad at first, but eventually decides to run with it. At 2:00 A.M/ we were forced to leave, Creech had to part ways with the girl that was worried about him having cancer, and that was basically the night. She did send him a text later that night offering to buy him lunch and talk about things, he rightfully ignored it. That night a fat Mexican girl also flashed us her tits at the bar and she had a peace sign on them. I also got free McDonalds for being the DD.

So Sunday comes by and I decide to go to the wonderful place I used to work at known as the Gloomy Daze to spend the day watching football. One of the first things I notice upon arrival is that amidst the crowd is a rather peculiar Miami Dolphin fan wearing a Lamar Smith jersey. This guy was short with glasses and acted like a little kid who had been sent to the corner for timeout but soon realized that no one was monitoring his timeout. Meaning he seemed to get up and wander from his chair nervously and anxiously every so often than quickly huddle back as if not to get caught. This fan pissed me off, especially when he found a friend. Together they were like the ambiguously gay duo, giving random stupid high-fives every time something went well for Miami. As far as the Smith jersey goes, I just couldn't understand it. After some debate, Damon said it would be like a Ravens fan wearing a McGahee jersey five years from now, I was partial to a Ravens fan wearing a Eric Rhett jersey, and Creech said it would be like him wearing a Kareem Abdul Jabbar jersey. Not the Laker, the Dolphin. While, all of these had some validity to them, they didn't strike me. I think it's as simple as this. If your a Ravens fan in 5 years wearing a McGahee jersey, your probably an idiot. If your a Ravens fan today wearing a Rhett jersey, your an idiot. If your a Dolphins fan today wearing an Abdul-Jabbar jersey, your an idiot. But if your a Dolphins fan today, wearing a Lamar Smith jersey your a fucking idiot. I had tried not to use profanity in my blogs, but this asshole brought it. The difference between Smith and the other guys, is why none of them ever really did anything for their teams, at least the other guys didn't get drunk off their ass with a teammate in their car one night and wreck it. Congratulations random Dolphins fan, your wearing a jersey of a guy, who had a shitty career and is more recognized for his arrest than his athletic ability. Have a Merry Christmas asshole.

So after the first round of games, I get a call from my Father saying there is a poker game at the Zips, or the Jacobys as I am more accustomed to calling them. Anyway, I make a phone call to the guy Ryan, who informed my Dad, and he tells me that it is a $5 buy in. I have never heard of anything like this. Maybe a group of grandmothers in Connecticut, will meet on occasion for a 5 dollar game, but I figured that was it. Nevertheless, I go over there with Ross, Creech, and Damon. When we get there we realize that this is also a poker game without beer. Another thing I didn't realize existed. Even those grandmothers in Connecticut are most likely drinking gin or scotch and there probably playing at noon. So the first hand starts, and Damon calls Creech all the way down without having ever looked at his cards to find out he caught two pair on the river to beat out Creech. I think Creech lost like 1.35$ on the hand. As the night went on though, Creech ended up being the big loser and Damon the big winner. Although Creech made up for his losings by lying to some of the nicest people in the world about paying for pizza. Good job kid, although he was nice enough to not accept the $1 back when they were handing back change from the pizza, hopefully that makes him at least a decent person.

Around 8:30 P.M. we left this poker den. Damon and Ross headed to the Kent, I wanted to stop by but I was several hours pass my medicine and it had been a long day. I called it a night, in fact I still feel a little iffy from the long day out, but it was well worth it. I was so tired by the time I got home that I just crashed on the couch. At about 1:00 A.m. I woke up to Alex coming through the basement, being that I was more than half asleep I decided to not to say anything. He farted going up the steps.

Ramblings from the Big Scar

So, I closed my last post by noting that Townsend had called me saying he was running from his house to mine and it had been 37 minutes, I was curious about his where-abouts. Anyways, he finally made it with a time of 78minutes. For those of you who don't know, I live right off Aigburth, and Townsend lives basically right off Taylor and Harford, a pretty good hike. He is still complaining that his body hurts from the run.

This past Wednesday night was the first time I decided to venture out since PhD's decided to cut a chunk into my skull and stitch it back up. I went with my friends Andy and Damon to play trivia at this god awful hotel called the Ramada. Now, the Ramada hotel is located on the corner of Joppa Road and Loch Raven Blvd, nearing the Towson-Parkville border. However, for some reason this place finds it possible to make establishments in Essex and Dundalk, two of my least favorite places, seem like the Taj Mahal. There were drunk assholes rambling about stupid nonsense, constant cheating, one hell of an annoying host, and a 10 dollar whore. Well, I don't quite know her price, but I know two things. One, she was a whore and two, at the Ramada who really has more than 10$to spend. Anyways, we took first place which gave us $50 cash, and I had had enough and went to bed right after despite being tempted to visit Pat at the Get Bent Lounge. Props to Damon for the name there.

The following day, I also ventured out into the public again. This time I saw the movie "Four Christmases" starring Vince Vaughn, with my friend Siobhan. Siobhan is a white girl, by the way. The movie was actually hysterical throughout and I enjoyed it quite much. If you have time, I highly recommend that you go see see the movie, it's worth the price of admission. Although, I leave you with one bit of advice. When leaving Towson Commons, remember to get your parking sticker validated, otherwise, your paying $11 to park to see a damn movie.

Now we've come to Friday. Friday was the big day, that I got to back to the lovely University of Maryland Hospital and have my Staples removed my some even lovelier lady named Eleanore. While it wasn't the most pleasant experience, it was far from the worst, until the end when I mentioned to Eleanore that I was running out of pain medications and she went on this long rant in front of my mother about how young adults don't handle pain well anymore and need to stick to Tylenol and avoid drug dependencies, that cause them to become addicted to prescription drugs. My mom bought into this whole theory, and ran me out of the hospital. But the whole time I was thinking, " Listen, you crazy old wench, my brain just got cut open and it still hurts like hell. Tylenol doesn't do anything and I am not a person to get addicted to painkillers, so give me some stronger shit." Anyways, I'm sure I can call an actual doctor who will agree with and I will be okay, regardless of Eleanore's belief system.

Tonight is a big game for the Ravens and to be honest it scares me a lot. We play what appears to be a must win game on the road on primetime, against the team in the Nfl with the most amount of players who you could throw "Fing" in as their middle name and it would work perfectly. Most notably, Tony Fing Romo and Terrell Fing Owens. Hopefully, Ray Lewis, Ed Reed and the rest of our defense can shut these pre-madonnas up enough to come away with the victory. I do plan on venturing out for the game tonight as well, my friend Jamal is a huge Cowboys fan and isn't working I may meet up with him for the game. So if you read this and are around, give me a buzz.

That's it for today, folks. Just a prelude one of my next updates will be about the 10 most memorable sporting events that I've witnessed. I'm excited about this one and have been thinking about it for a while. But until next time............

The Pros and Cons of Brain Surgery

First of all, I've noticed I only have one follower for my blog so I don't know exactly how many people are reading this, but in reality thats unimportant. In my mind, which has dealt with quite a lot lately, the whole point of this blog thing is for me to ramble and express my thoughts, beliefs, etc. Anyways, as most of you probably know, this past week was a mind altering one for me.

So Friday night, I'm celebrating my buddy Brooks coming home from Iraq at Powerplant Live Downtown, than Saturday morning I wake up with a hangover. Typical Saturday morning, except this hangover simply felt like death. So Saturday goes by, I can't eat, drink tons of gatorade and water and do not feel any better. Do not sleep Saturday night even though I took twice the normal dose of Nyquill, simply lying awake sweating and in pain. All day Sunday the same thing occurs, but I decide to tough it and head to the Ravens game. I had been waiting all year for this game, Primetime Sunday Night, going up against the Deadskins, and they truly are dead now. James is going with Andy, and I have tickets with Secor. Everyone I know is tailgating, it should have been one of my best days of the year. Except despite every telling me what a baby I am and how a few beers will make me feel better, I still don't have the stomach to attempt to drink. Close to 8, I decide to head in the game and just as I am about to walk to my seat I puke everywhere. A police officer sees me, assumes I'm some asshole who can't handle his alcohol, and gets me in touch with a medic. Several minutes later, I'm getting my blood pressure taken, temperature taken, and being given Tylenol by Ravens medical officers. These highly established medical officers, say you must just be dehyrdated, go home get some rest kid, you will be ok tommorow. So being that I feel like balls I take their advice and have an interesting cab ride back to Bennnett's with a drunk scalper who lost money. Now, scalping professional football tickets is a profession I have never tried to master, but this guy was telling me he lost $500 tonight, so I don't think hes very good at his job. Anyways, I get back to Bennett's, fall asleep and wake up at 12:30 sweating my ass off and feeling worse than ever. At this point I decide it's time to go to the hospital.

Now instead of going to one of the prestigous hospitals that bless Baltimore city, I decide to make the hike to St. Josephs. When I get there nearly an hour later, due to traffic and the 695 ramp being shut down, I find that the nurse is my friend April. She sets me up with a doctor and I go threw a catscan, having no idea what to expect. When the doctor comes out she tells me, I have an Epidural Hematoma in my Right Tempural, which is causing a blood clot in my brain will require immediate brain surgery. Shortly thereafter, I'm in an ambulance and on my way to University of Maryland Hospital and that is the main bulk of the story.

Thanks to God and the Doctors, surgery goes well, the blood clot is now removed and I'm pumped up on all sorts of drugs. Steroids, morphine, etc. All I'm saying is Barry Bonds and Roger Clemens, watch out! Geilfuss is on his way! But going through brain surgery has made me realize their are some pros to the whole thing. I mean we all know the obvious cons. It hurts like hell, you can't do anything, you must stay in a bed basically the whole time, It hurts like hell, and you look like hell. In fact, in regards to the way I look, I have a funny story. My mother tudors elementrary age children, some come to the house, others she visits. But this one girl Teona, who comes to my house on Mondays and Thursdays, aware that her tudors son has just has brain surgery was nice enough to introduce herself to me and make me some cookies. Anyway, shortly after I met Teona, she told my mother I look like someone from the X-Men movies with all the brusing and staples in my head. I got a kick out of that.

But back to the pros:
1. People I don't even know bring me dinner:
Some lady who does business occassionally with my dad stops by and says, I was talking to your dad last week and he said hes been extra busy due to a good week of business and the fact that I've been in the hospital, so she stops by my parents house with a huge dish of garlic bread and stuffed shells that were amazing. Several other family friends have brought dinner dishes for my whole family and several friends have brought me lunch.
2. Your popularity skyrockets:
Now I have always had a good amount of friends ranging form several different social groups but now I have people calling me left and right wanting to hang out. My facebook wall is being lit up with words of encouragement and friendly notes. I'm telling you people with depression issues due to lack of an acceptable social level, should just try brain surgery.
3. You really stay up to date on the world of sports:
Over the past few days I think I have watched 39, 691 episodes of Sportscenter. I almost feel as if I can state the words coming out of Chris Bermans or Stuart Scott's mouth before they all spoke. When you work 40+hours a week, have a social life, and everything else it is not as easy to stay as up to date on this important information.
4. Life Revelations:
I've decided I'm going to write a book. Hopefully, I will get started with it during this 4 to 6 weeks of rest and recovery. The subject of this book is yet to be determined.

Anyways, thats enough for today. Im left with one thought. At 2:00 P.m. on the dot, Townsend called me saying he was running from his house to mine. It has now been 37minutes, I wonder if hes alive.